2018年06月11日

2018.5.26-6.11 の人生

5.26
あまりやる気がない。お菓子を食べたり散策をしたりする。超薄切片の準備をして切る。染めて帰ろうと思っていたら実験で滞在していた大学教員と1時間位話す。学位をとれるなら取ったほうが良いというアドバイスをいただく。

5.27
超薄切片を切る。ブロックのトリミングをする。夕方から買い出しに随行。

5.28
午前中は教員にTEM関連の指導。その後切った切片を観察。あんまよくないのを2卵見た後、割とマトモなものを1卵見る。それから、指導を継続したり、BOSSの飛行機の予約をしたり、TEMの専門家の先生にお電話申し上げたりする。

5.29
出張のBOSSを除いたラボメンバー+昆虫写真家+書店関係者と、某甲虫の撮影&サンプリング。最近遠ざかっていたマニアックな虫の世界に浸る。

5.30
マトモな卵のTEM観察を1日中する。関連したことをBOSSと少し議論。

5.31
切りためた厚切り切片を染めるが、染まり薄し。そろそろ液を更新したほうがいいかも・・・その後、動物細胞における空胞についてお勉強したり、画像を印刷したり、某博物館における学芸員の実態を目の当たりにしたりする。

6.1
TEM試料作製。午前中までに電子染色。午後にディスカッションをして、現在の問題をあぶりだす。その後線虫のお話を聴く。とても面白い。

6.2
午前中はまったり生きる。午後は散策をしてからTEM薄切り切片を切る。

6.3
午前中は真田で買い物。バスの時間を把握していなかったため1時間ほど待ちぼうけを食らう。戻ってきて実験所近くのお祭りの様子を偵察し、昼寝、画像整理をしたりしていたら宇宙飛行士について調べることに時間を費やしてしまっていた。夜に一軒家の番組を見て、趣味に生きるおじさんを見てこういう生き方もいいなと思う。研究職を仕事にする生き方もあるが、これがかなり精神を消耗するので、趣味として研究をする生き方のほうが(できる研究手法も限られるなど制約も多いが)QOLが高いのかもな・・・などと思う。

6.4
午前中に支持膜を張ったり、ディスカッションしたりする。私がやたらこだわっていることがあったのだが、今はそこにこだわることよりも優先することがあるだろうという指摘を受けて、現実に立ち返る。午後から支持膜張りの指導をしたり、原稿を絞ったりする。

6.5
午前中は論文と図をいじる。午後はその続き。ここまでで、13あった図が9に減る。

6.6
午前中に初稿もどきをBOSSめがけて投擲。気が楽になったので昼寝してから樹脂包埋試料作製をしたりする。夜に原稿が返ってくる。

6.7,8
試料作製をすすめつつ論文の直しを行う。直しながら適宜相談をする。

6.9
週末で終わる茨城県博の企画展を見に行く。そもそも茨城県博にくるのがj初めてだったので常設展からじっくり(パピリオを使って)みていく。企画展では変形菌が多数展示されており、いくつか”内輪”を感じる展示を見つけてニヤニヤしてしまう。その後大学図書館に立ち寄り、絶版のため1冊3万円くらいで売られている某教科書を借りる。

6.10
わが人生についていろいろと洞察する。要は就職のことを考えたのだが、学芸員にせよ研究職にせよ一発でテニュアを得られるのは非現実的なので、自分を安売りしないことを前提にして、非正規雇用というものをあまり悲観的に考えないように生きていこうではないか、ということを思い至った。そのほかには、研究を趣味と割り切り、定住促進している自治体に職と居を求め、そこに墓を作る生き方も捨てがたいものがあるが、それはそれでリスクが高いことに気が付く(動く地雷が近くにあったときに融通が利かないのは精神的に厳しかろう)。そして、よくよく考えると、研究という営みのおかげで、その道の第一人者とか、海外のトップクラスの知的集団と対等に意見交換できるチャンスが私にはあるらしい。それを活かさず生きるのも勿体ない。学位が採れるか不明ではあるが、取得後に海外に出るという選択肢をまじめに考えてもいいのかもしれない。

6.11
延々と図をいじる。



Posted by Impulse610 at 20:52│Comments(1)
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